You know what?

MAYBE WE'RE JUST A REALLY STUPID FAMILY. Me, smart? I feel like that's just me out of the rest of my family.

Maybe this is why I'm going to get kicked out of my university and my sister has to transfer schools. We're just not smart enough for schools to tolerate us.

YEAH, WE'RE JUST STUPID.

Conflict.

I can't fail. I'm going to get kicked out of the university.

I can't pass either. This 3k word research paper is due in a week. Wtf life.

I'm crying inside.

Late much...

Today I learned that I am a visual learner. This explains why I can make up all these stories about Kanji characters which help my classmates and I remember what they mean. My teacher was impressed (for once).

So maybe I'm not that hopeless. I just really need to study.

I can't be a translator.

I can't find my textbookS and I'm panicking and omg I can cry. Not really. Kind of.

I CAN VAGUELY translate Japanese sentences into English but making Japanese sentences is really hard! Especially when I don't have my textbook!

This is almost like Filipino. D:

Reading Magikus again.

I need tons of research. Tons and tons of research.

I lost my writing style and I'm a little frustrated about it. It's like, I'm reading a lot of Magikus but I can't produce anything like it. It's a really annoying feeling.

I'm so lucky.

Today I was panicking because I was supposed to do my informative speech. Not really because I had to speak for about 7 minutes, but more because MY POWERPOINTS WEREN'T WORKING. I tried like 6 different computers, okay? I even made a back up file and it wasn't working!

Thankfully my classmates were really nice and helping me out. My mind blanked out e. Anton offered to convert my files (it didn't work). Rhinna told me to try asking someone at home to send it to me. (Naomi couldn't even log into my laptop account). We tried opening it on Kevin's mac and it was LOCKED for some reason. Tried getting the files I saved in my email but Kevin didn't have internet. Kurt offered to open the file as well. Didn't work either but he tried cleaning my USB at least, I guess.

These other girls worried about me too, and offered suggestions like making a new powerpoint while there were still 3 speakers to go. That would give me 21 minutes at the most. But my powerpoint was purely pictures and it was hard to get all the images again.

Then Cassandra came and was all, "Wait, you need internet?" and pulls out her laptop. I download my powerpoint and IT WORKED. Omg I was so happy and relieved. And then Rhinna looks over and goes, "It's working?" and I go, "Yeah, thankfully."

Rhinna takes the laptop and goes, "Okay, save it into images just in case it doesn't work." and she starts working on it. I had to change into a skirt but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to go and change or if I was supposed to work on my powerpoint. Rhinna looks at me and says, "Go change. I'll take care of this."

I. AM. SO. LUCKY. AND. THANKFUL. FOR. MY. CLASSMATES. OMG.

I come back in a skirt and Rhinna already uploaded my files to the computer. My presentation was pretty meh in my opinion, but my classmates are so nice they gave me high scores.

I wish I saw this class more often. ):

Animals think I'm a boy.

Today I came home, still in business attire. My Chihuahua, Roxanne, sees me and she runs away. Then when she walks towards me slowly, with her tail curled at her bum, and then sniffs me, and then runs away again.

Then she approaches me with caution, like not sure if she's happy to see me home or to be scared of me. Thus the whole approach-with-caution-sniff-run-away-approach-with-caution thing happened so many times. Like, it was like she was so happy to see me that wanted to play tag with me BUT she was scared of me so she didn't know what to do. So she was weird and was running around the house like Apols (Erika's dog) does if she wasn't doing the approach-with-caution-etc thing.

I asked Gran why Roxanne was doing that. Gran goes, "I know she hates boys. She only wants me to feed her and she gets scared/angry when the boys feed her..."

...so my dog thought I was a boy?

Why does that always happen?

Why do I only discover ways of studying when it's too late?

ALL THE TIME.

It's like I always have teeth problems.

So 3 months after my front tooth died and I needed a root canal, I discovered I had lockjaw. Okay, so I discovered this 3 days ago. Eating is actually me forcing food to get in between my teeth. Dad said I needed a panoramic X-ray to see the problem. I went home after taking my exam and yeah, got an x-ray.

Dad looks at it and swears, because he's bewildered at how I managed to grow a tooth near my left ear. It's what's blocking my jaw from opening.

So while I'm contemplating ANOTHER visit to the dentist that would end in pain, I'm also thinking about how I'll have a difficult time giving a speech with swelling cheeks. Ugh, it's like my face always ends up swelling.

AND THEN, just as I get home from getting the X-ray, Pao calls up and asks for my blood type. Yeah, I'm a B+. I end up agreeing to donate blood, even if I'm scared shitless. Only Pao can do that, I guess. (I mean people ask for blood donations in school and I don't go because I don't trust them AND I'm scared).

Pao: Can you donate blood?

Me: Aren't I underweight or something?
Pao: It's an emergency. Ate Pamela's friend is dying.

Me: I'm scared.

Pao: I'm sure Ate Pamela's friend is even more scared.

Me: Uh...

Pao: They've been searching for blood for weeks.

And well, Pao said she'd be there so I guess I'll be fine. I mean, so long as I don't pass out, I guess I'll be okay.

I have two major midterms tomorrow and I cannot fail them.

On a sorta unrelated note, I tried convincing my brother to donate blood. I discovered he's blood type O. I DON'T KNOW HOW HE'S AN O. I mean, sure, Mom's an O but Dad's like B+. You'd think we'd all be B+.

That was embarrassing.

"Hi?"

"Er, hi."

"Bye."

"Right, bye."

"BYE!"

"BYE!"

"Ate, she wasn't saying bye to you..."

"Ugh, kill me now."