I am scared.
It's still not hitting me that we're going to end. That next week, it'll be exams. Week after that, retreat. And probably a few days afterward... Graduation.
I might be too hard on myself, but I really don't I'm going to march. It doesn't seem likely.
Not like I ever get anything I want.
I didn't exactly get into the college I wanted.
I didn't get into my first choice.
Look, I don't even think I'll have a summer.
I can't believe I won't see my junior friends next year.
I'm just really accustomed to walking by their table, flashing a sheepish grin when they laugh at the lost expression I usually wear when I enter the cafeteria, and walking over to them when they motion at me to.
Sometimes they hug me, sometimes they just talk.
I won't be there when they'll be leading the teams, thinking of new dance moves or cheers, and making new props. I won't be able to watch them train the lower batches with the twirling of the banners. I know I'll be so proud of them, though.
Earlier today, Milkshake, Emo, and Glasses gave me love letters. xD
I was so touched, I cried. Yeah, I'm emotional like that.
I'm not really good with separation... and I think I sort of developed some sort of sibling complex with them or something. Aiya... xD
I can't believe tomorrow is our last day.
I don't even know if it really is my last.
I sort of foresee a really sad summer for me.
Pretty much crappy.
I don't know how my parents will react.
I'm thankful for the friends that really helped me out. Note, you guys didn't try, you guys really did.
It's just that... I don't know. I'm just really horrible at these things.
Yes, my inferiority complex has taken over once more.
I really hope I get to march.
But for some reason, I always manage to attract a possibility of going to summer or extension classes.
It's not like I don't try working, dammit!
I sleep late just like everyone else!
I hope tomorrow would be an awesome day.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Still not hitting me.
Posted by Lee Ann at 8:51 PM
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