3rd attempt at swimming.

I think I have some sort of phobia when it comes to swimming. I can't BREATHE like the other people do when they swim. o_o

[Seriously, I'm not trying to offend anyone in the following post]

Okay, honestly. Today was the best day I've ever had (at swimming) even with the past two swimming days combined.

Why?

Parents weren't there.

No one to blackmail me.
No one to give comments (that stab, every time).
No one to force me.
No one to make me feel helpless, trapped, cornered.
No one being unfair.

Just things like that.

Today...

Tito Jie and Tita Elane gave me a choice. They let me choose if I wanted to swim or not. Tito Jie said he'd teach me after he was done with the kids. He'll teach me the technique of how to do the free stroke. (I was reluctant, meaning I didn't swim, but as least I was more willing than the last 2 weeks combined).

Okay, so the little kids didn't think I sucked or anything (contrary to what my inferiority complex told me)... But I really felt stupid and extra insecure because well, they're little kids and they can swim. I can't.

Having a talk with Sidney (Tita Elane and Tito Jie's daughter), I could practically hear Tita Elane. She was just filled with encouragement. It's like I could tell she was raised with it, like... how she was brought up was totally different. She seemed like she was raised with choices.

The little kids were all pretty nice.

Nikole: Why can't you swim?
Me: I just can't.
Sidney: You're in the pool, you're swimming.
Me: Yeah, but not the kind my mum wants.
Sidney: Whatever you do, so long as you're in the pool, that's swimming.
Me: Oh yeah? What about drowning?
Carl: That is swimming!
Nikole: It's just not the kind where your head is above the water. :D

Tita Elane told me that I always have a choice. Just like today, when Tito and Tita told me to just tell them when I feel like swimming.

Tita Elane doesn't seem to get the fact that when my parents are concerned, when they say something, it goes. You don't really have a choice. For example. 1st day at swimming.

Tita Elane thought I had two choices, which were:

1. To swim.
2. Not to swim.

With mum there, my actual choices were:

1. To swim.
2. Be grounded for a month [So that included not hanging out with Isa when she arrived in the Philippines], no cellphone, no internet, no TV, no PS2, no DS, no phone. All I can do is read. [...Uh, we don't have books, by the way.] So in other words, I won't be allowed to do anything.

I didn't swim. By some luck, I wasn't grounded [Thus I got to spend time with the freeloaders]. She told me to swim next time, though. Then she gave me back my cellphone and dad handed me back my sim card.

"Nahulog, e."

Dad, that is such a lie. How old do you think I am?! I know mum took out the sim card.

2nd day of swimming (which was the next Saturday)...

Dad... made me feel really stupid. Okay, so he didn't confiscate my phone or other stuff like that. But his comments really hurt. I mean, I'm embarrassed already, he doesn't have to say things pa to make it worse.

"Go dress up na. Mukha ka lang tanga. Nakatayo ka lang diyan."

So after that... He hasn't let me go out with friends. Also during that period, I haven't spoken to my parents in proper sentences anymore. :|

[/end]

That's such a nice way to remember one of the last weeks of being 16. xD

"Oh! 3rd to the last week before I turned 17? Let's see... Oh yeah, I was grounded!" :|

Hmm... My cousins, Noah and Nadynne, won't be in the country until May 16, which really sucks because... On May 3, there's a fiesta at San Juan. I usually hang out with them, they're my favourite cousins in the country. So I might just sit around, waiting for time to pass by... Naomi and Paul can hang out with Nice, Niro, and Nielsen. They kinda fit in one age group. I'm the eldest (in the country), so there's a somewhat wide age gap between me and them.

Okay, there's Noe... But I don't really connect with her. D:

[Okay, 2 more weeks until my birthday... and then what?]